God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
