What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
my shit smells like andre
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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