u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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