She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
