I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
cat food counts as protein by the way
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
That accounts for only three of the penises
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
