So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
