let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
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