then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
