I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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