i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
