I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
