so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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