I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
