you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
