Non-Jews are for practice
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
