I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
