i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
