so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
