I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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