is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
