plz talk dirty to me
It's just like the Real World with babies
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
