My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
