Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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