I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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