You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
