I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
