My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
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