it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
