Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
