So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Randomize
