Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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