Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize