this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
