just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
