I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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