guys are not supposed to queef...right?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
