"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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