it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize