Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Randomize
