I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Randomize