If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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