OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
