Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
