I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize