She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I need to calm my uterus...
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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