Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
