similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
