when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Randomize
