I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
