I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
