Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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