I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
