my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
