Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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