im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
