i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
