Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
