Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
