good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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