I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
