Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
