Taylor Swift is so right about you.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize