Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
