So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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